This is usually the time of year when Game of Thrones kicks off to distract us from real life with dragons, wargs and gratuitous sex and blood. Sadly, that carnage will have to wait for July 16, but until then we’ve got some burning questions about what Season 7 has in store.
1. Will Arya rejoin her family?
A girl is fed the fuck up.
After crossing the Narrow Sea way too quickly and stabbing the hell out of Walder Frey, Arya seems ready for a classic revenge bender, but might be safer traveling North to her remaining siblings. Then again, when two or more Starks congregate in one place, zero leave alive.
2. What’s going to happen with Bran?
He only accidentally killed a man last season (to say nothing of poor Jojen’s earlier sacrifice for the Raven) — will Bran bring certain destruction upon the seven kingdoms via warging and White Walkers? BRAN CAN U STOP.
3. How long will Cersei be Queen?
No one seems to reign long in Westeros, particularly if they’re yellow of hair. Cersei has been all but indestructible thus far, but she’s also made dozens — if not hundreds — of enemies.
4. Who will Daenerys meet with in Westeros?
We already got her non-book meeting with Tyrion, who’s now hand of the queen. After so many seasons separate from all that juicy Westerosi drama, how’s Miss Mhysa going to fare across the pond? Will she land in the North with the Starks, making all our dreams come true? Will she face-off with Cersei in a glorious blonde battle royale? At least there’s no chance of running into Stannis.
5. What will puncture Jon and Sansa’s peace?
Things are going well for the Starks for once, which is synonymous with impending doom. The half siblings reunited in Season 6 while fans held their breaths that Jon wasn’t going to be shot in the back with an arrow before they hugged (that happened later) and then they teamed up to take back the North.
6. Who will guard Olenna Tyrell?
The Tyrells were brutally massacred at the Sept of Baelor but the Queen of Thorns was nowhere to be seen. Will my favorite character survive? Will Cersei survive her ire? Who will be the next victim of her sick burns??
7. Where the hell is Ser Jorah Mormont?
YOU DON’T DESERVE THIS.
When we last saw Jorah the Andal, his beloved Khaleesi sent him off with the crucial task of…curing his own terminal disease. Are we ever going to see him again? Probably not! Does that sting bitterly? Absolutely yes!!
8. Also, where’s Brienne?
We last saw Brienne of Tarth wistfully waving to her love, Jaime Lannister, at Riverrun. So she’s alive, and with sex god Podrick Payne, but if anything happens to either of them I will pull a Dracarys.
9. TF is happening with the white walkers?
Listen, guys, it doesn’t matter who sits on the Iron Throne if we all get killed by ice. The White King is more powerful than ever and his army of cold undead creep closer to humankind every day. Plus, it’s finally winter. So that means nothing good.
10. Will Sam Tarly make it out of this alive?
Sam is perfect and happy and pursuing his dreams at the Citidel, so can we just leave him alone? SAM DID NOTHING WRONG.
Game of Thrones returns July 16.